January 2011
When parents ask you,
-herebytheocean:
“Hey , did you get home safely?”
“No, I died, like, four times.”
That awkward moment when there’s no vaseline so you have to cover your taper in oil and it’s all oily and horrible and disgusting and then you find lube in your parents’ room but then you’re like “actually I’m goad I didn’t use that, I don’t know where it’s been”
~le shudder
Better go get a shower so I can get rid of all these fucking scabs and Shit then.
Stupid faggot of an ear being all faggoty and shit.
I wanna do something like Marble Hornets but with the rake instead of the slender man.
@stephenfry: OMG - just sent email to a v grand public person & ended “Sending all my love” but mistyped & iPhone word-guessed “sending all my lube” :0
Oh my word.
Is it just me that feels like crying a bit at the...
Scrubs isn’t even serious let alone sad but oh my word.
NEVER MIND YOU, SANCHEZ. CABBAGE, TIENE MI CARAZON!!!!1!11! AND YOU LOOK LIKE DAN HAGGIS.
No, just me? Okay.
Fuck geography, I'm going to knit.
ANARCHY IN THE UK.
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Lol, Geography mock tomorrow, should probably start on those revision notes we were meant to start weks ago.
l0lz.
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When you walk into the front room and your brother...
withthestrengthoftenbears:
I cut my lip on broken bone And who you are, isn’t what you own, It pierced the skin it’s ripping through Into my heart because of you.
What is light? Where is laughter?
I’m confused and the sky is getting heavy tonight
You’ll never kno0o0o0o0o0o0ow, you know tonight
Chester*
There’s no such place as chested, silly phone.
That awkward moment when you’re stuck in Chested reading Misery for fifty minutes.
From now on I'll say mi piace instead of me gusta.
Wooo, going sick on my heritage.
Il mio animale preferito è un’anatra.
Yay, basic sentences. I don’t even like ducks though. Goats all the way.
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I know more Spanish than I do Italian, I’m fucking ashamed.
I’m gonna go dig out my old Italian book and re-teach myself everything.
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Debating or not whether to phone Chester hospital and ask about work experience.
But they might be a bit “NO SHUT UP NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR WORK EXPERIENCE WE HAVE LIVES TO SAVE, FOOL. GOODBYE.”
Old facebook notes are awesome, I miss these...
My life according to Biffy Clyro.
Are you a male or female: Scary Mary Describe yourself: Some Kind Of Wirzard How do you feel: Strung To Your Ribcage Describe where you currently live: The House Of Roofs If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Mountains Your favourite form of transportation? Machines Your best friend is: The Ideal Height You and your best friend are: The...
lovingaugustuswaters asked: Why an earth would you have a melon for dinner?! D:
Dad: Taste this hot chocolate, it tastes terrible
Me: Tastes like water
Dad: Exactly! it's not hot chocolate, it's just hot! Can I have some hot with my double fat bastard?
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“Why’s there sausage on my muffin? I asked for a double egg muffin, not a...”
I’m gonna give this melon a face and put it in the freezer to freak out my family.